This week is National Adoption Week . In addition to encouraging more people to come forward to adopt, it helps to highlight the importance of adoption for those children who, for whatever reason, cannot remain with their birth families.

Our guest blogger Corinne Watt,  describes her first-hand experience of adopting.

When in my late twenties, a random conversation about heading towards 30 and having no children changed the direction of my life. A friend said single people could adopt. Three years later I met my daughter. In between were many intense social work meetings, a big learning curve, and a lot of waiting.

With hindsight, although the process seems ridiculously long, there is a lot of emotional and educational preparation required. But, like giving birth, no book or training course can fully prepare you for the impact of being given responsibility for a child.

My daughter said she loved me and seemed happy to be with me right from the start. But she grieved terribly for her foster carers after spending nearly three years waiting for her future to be decided. She had already started school, and was at an age where she had begun to realise that her experience was not the norm, and that terrible things had happened in her past. Her self-esteem was non existent, and she felt to blame. She was restless, anxious, angry, aggressive, and didn’t sleep well. She was developmentally delayed, but resisted my help.

I found support, initially with embarrassment, sometimes with difficulty, and even with disappointment at the lack of understanding as to what we were experiencing. It’s surprising that even some professionals presume she won’t remember her early years, and that she should be somehow grateful at the life she has now. And it frustrates me at the time I’ve waited for assessments, only to be told yes, that must be difficult to deal with, but they can’t offer any further input.

But we found our way together, on this “road less travelled”. As a single adopter I could give myself completely to her every need, and as we worked on repairing the cracks and gaps from her past, she has transformed my life and allowed me to achieve my dream of being someone’s mother.

As the years have passed she has blossomed into a beautiful, witty, charismatic child. She still has triggers that can reignite her anxiety and frustration; changes in her routine, and any kind of loss. School often forget and then overreact at her response to incidents in the playground, or topics in the curriculum. It’s a challenging but rewarding path I’ve taken. I don’t regret adopting, it has changed both of our lives for the better.

Corinne Watt,
Adopter

Find out more about National Adoption Week through Adoption UK’s website.

National Adoption Week – Adoption: The road ahead
Angela Constance, Minister for Children and Young People on the Scottish Government’s aims for improving the current process.

We’d like to hear about your adoption experience. Get in touch and share your stories below.